How motherhood has changed me
Photography by Life Touch Images
As we celebrated Aiko’s first Birthday at the beginning of this year, I began to reflect on the past two and a half years since I became a mom and how my life has changed. I often have surreal moments when I try to take it all in, looking at both my daughters and feeling extremely blessed to be their mom.
I look at it in terms of building my character. Being a mom has helped me preserve the better parts of my character; I am kinder, more patient, more trusting, more confident, and always try to keep my word. From the day I realized that it’s through me that their character is built, I was very challenged and knew that I had to make changes in the way I was living my life. I now try to be more intentional about the way I live my life. Even though my girls don’t know it, I am very accountable to them.
How have I changed?
I am more trusting; whoever said God Loves our children more that we do needs to say that again and again. I have seen God provide and protect my children in ways that I could have never done myself. These three years have been nothing short of many huddles and small miracles; the pregnancies, the births, the nursing, the sleepless nights, the pumping, the smiles and the milestones. Through it all, I just always felt God patting me on the back and telling me to let go and let Him! It has been a wonderful journey of learning to trust God.
I am more patient; if there is anything I have learnt, it is to let time be, don’t rush it, don’t wish it away, just live through it. Every stage is to be cherished because those little moments pass very fast you don’t even realize. As I carry both my daughters on my laps because they both decided I must carry them, I try not to think of the inconvenience but of the fact that one day they will be grown and I won’t be able to carry them.
I have learnt humility; To love with no boundaries, give without expectation, to sacrifice my body and time day after day, week after week, month after month. It can be really hard sometimes; when a two year old is bossing you around or when she throws a tantrum and everything you try just doesnt seem to work for her or the nights when one wakes up and somehow wakes the other and they are both wailing for no particular reason. In these moments, I am pushed to my very limit and thats when I am reminded of my total dependence on God in doing this whole parenting thing.
I have learnt to let go of perfection; to let go of the whole notion of being a super mom. Wanting the perfect work life balance, to run a successful blog and making enough time for the girls. I planned to blog more this year and two months later, this is my first post! How did the time go by so fast? I now revel in the little moments I get to share with my girls without having to worry about what I have or haven’t done.
I have learnt to live in the moment; as most moms, I always wanted to plan everything to the last detail. I have learnt that life doesn’t always work like that. Sometimes I just throw on pants and a random t-shirt not because I don’t care about how I look but because I have had to sneak out of my own house like a thief. Sometimes I take more than three days without going to my social media pages not because its lack of interest but because I am trying to be present in body and in spirit both at work and at home.
I am more confident; becoming a mom is powerful stuff. I feel strong in ways that I never thought possible – not just physically but mentally and emotionally, too. For the first time in my life, without realizing I ever felt this way before, I am content. Life is busier, the demands are ever increasing, nights out are traded for nights in, – but every day I wake up feeling overwhelmingly happy.
And to Izuba and Aiko; I hope that one day you will both look at this and know how loved you are and how you not only you changed my life but also played a big role in molding me into the person I am today.
Are there ways that motherhood has changed you? I'd love to know
Love and Blessings